ygotasfandomcom-20200214-history
Pilot/Transcript
Abridged Episode #1 Watch ← Previous Episode Next Episode → The one where Yugi beats Kaiba in a children's card game. Cast (In order of appearance): Yami, Yugi, Joey, Tristan, Kaiba, Téa, Grandpa, Mokuba, Pegasus Date: July 13, 2006 Running Time: 3:55 Episode Title: Pilot Transcript Intro Yami: Yu-Gi-Oh was filmed before a live studio audience. Outside the school Yugi: Hey, Joey! Earth to Joey! Inside Yugi: Hey, are you in there? It's your move! Joey: Sorry, Yug, doing this Brooklyn accent makes it difficult to concentrate on card games. Tristan: I know what you mean, my voice is pretty crazy, too! I'm thinking about changing it. Yugi: By the way, my Grandpa has a super rare card! Tristan: Groovy! Joey: Hey, bada-bing! Kaiba: (Thinking) Rare card? That sounds vague enough to be the Blue-Eyes White Dragon. And since I'm a child billionaire in charge of a huge gaming company, I obviously have nothing better to do than go check it out. (Grandpa's Game Shop) Yugi: Hey, Gramps, can we please see your super rare awesome chocolaty-fudge coated mega super card? Grandpa: I don't see why not. Here it is, the Blue-Eyes White Dragon. Joey: That's.. the least threatening name for a monster I've ever heard. What kind of mook would want a card like that? Kaiba: (pushes the others out of the way) I'm here for your Blue-Eyes, old man, and I won't take no for an answer. Now give it to me. Grandpa: No. Kaiba: Curses, foiled again. I'm going to go hire some thugs to kidnap you now. I'm a billionaire, so no one will even think about pressing charges. (leaves) Grandpa: That Kaiba kid needs to get laid. Tristan: Big time! (On the Phone) Yugi: Hello? Game shop! Kaiba: I kidnapped your Grandpa, Yugi, and then I dueled him into submission. So could you get over here and call an ambulance for him? I have far too much money to be expected to do it myself! Yugi: Wait, who is this? (Kaiba's Dueling Arena) Yugi: Grandpa! Are you okay? Grandpa: For some reason, playing a card game has caused me to become severely injured! Kaiba: That's right! And now, watch this! (tear's Grandpa's Blue-Eyes in two) Yugi: Grandpa's special super rare awesome super card! Joey: What the heck did ya do that for? Kaiba: So that it could never be used against me. Yugi: In that case, why not just tear up every card in the whole world? Kaiba: Shut up and duel me. Yugi: Don't worry Gramps, I'll win this duel with your deck. Grandpa: W-Wait a minute: I've been injured, so you're going to steal my deck and go play cards with your arch rival? Yugi: Pretty much. Grandpa: No wonder your parents are never around! Téa: (brandishes a marker) Gather round, everyone, and I'll mark us with a special sign! (A smiley face on Yugi, Joey, Téa and Tristan's hands) Joey: Uh, Téa, not for nothing, but...ain't this permanent marker? Téa: Oh. Whoops! Joey: Why were you even carrying that thing around in the first place? Téa: I'm a kleptomaniac, I stole it from school. Tristan: Hey, my wallet's missing! Téa: Kaiba took it! Yami: It's time to duel! Kaiba: Wait, did your testicles just drop in the last five seconds or something? What the heck happened to your voice? (A hologram of Hitotsu-Me Giant appears) Yami: Holy Ra! Real monsters! Kaiba: Actually, they're just super-advanced holograms created for the sole purpose of enriching the experience of a children's card game! Yami: Okay seriously, you've got to be f*cking kidding me. Who wastes all their money on something like that? Kaiba: The guy who's going to beat your pasty pharaoh butt with three Blue-Eyes White Dragons, that's who! (Three Blue-Eyes White Dragon holograms suddenly appear) Yami: Wait a minute, did you just summon a bunch of monsters in one turn? Kaiba: Yeah, so? Yami: That's against the rules, isn't it? Kaiba: Screw the rules, I have money! Now draw your last pathetic card, Yugi, so I can finish you! Yami: My Grandpa's deck HAS no pathetic cards, Kaiba! Except maybe for Kuriboh. But it also has THIS: The unstoppable EXODIA! (Exodia hologram appears) Kaiba: Ahhh! EXODIA! It's not possible! No-one's ever been able to summon him! Yami: Really? Is that because it's so rare? Kaiba: No, it's because this game makes no sense. Nobody can figure out how to do it. Yami: Nobody except ME! Exodia, OBLITERATE! (Exodia destroys Blue-Eyes White Dragons) Mokuba: Big brother! Is it time for my cameo yet? Kaiba: H-How could you summon Exodia? Yami: Kaiba, if you really wish to know, then TALK TO THE HAND! (Mind-crushes Kaiba) Kaiba: Ahhhhhhhh! (faints) (At the Hospital) Grandpa: (Wakes up) I wet myself. (Pegasus' castle, inside) Henchman: Mr. Pegasus, sir, it seems the reigning Duel Monsters champion has been defeated by someone named Yugi! Also, it's time for your sponge bath. Pegasus: Mmmmmmmm. (End) (Stinger:) Yugi: (in Master Shake from Aqua Teen Hunger Force's voice) Hey hey, fun time! Goofin' off Martian style, wakka wakka!